<![CDATA[Losing It For Good - Blog]]>Fri, 26 Feb 2016 02:52:08 -0500Weebly<![CDATA[I hate the clothing industry]]>Thu, 25 Feb 2016 15:47:09 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/i-hate-the-clothing-industryWhen I first started this blog, I wrote about the struggle of finding nice clothing as a plus size woman and the anxiety attacks and tears that any shopping excursion typically produced. Now that I can walk into any store and buy pretty much whatever I want off the rack, I believed that this struggle would be conquered,. I am solidly in a size 16 at the moment. I don't have to shop in the plus size section, which is a weird and strange feeling in and of itself. I have recertly discovered, unfortunately, that being in "normal sized" women's clothes doesn't necessarily solve all of those problems,

I try not to have to purchase new clothing unless it is an absolute necessity, mostly because I hate getting only a few months wear out of things before I have to purchase a smaller size. At the beginning of the school year, I purchased 3 pairs of size 20 khakis. They are literally falling off of me, so I went looking for some khakis that actually fit. I had recently picked up a pair of size 16 khakis at Walmart for $15 that actually fit very well and looked nice, and I would have bought 2 pairs then, but apparently a size 16 is a popular size and they only had one pair. I went back to buy another pair, but they were still out of the khakis that I wanted in the size that I needed, I remember from my plus sized days that most plus size lines start at a size 16, so I ventured over to the plus section to see if they may have what I needed, They had the same exact pants in plus sizes, and I found a black pair of khakis in a size 16. Being plus sized, they were just a little roomier in the hips and rear than I really needed them to be, but they would work for the time being. I figured they would shrink a little after being dried in the dryer anyway.

"So what's the problem?" you may be asking yourself. Well here's the problem. These pants were the exact same brand and size as the pants that were out of stock in the womens section. The ONLY difference between the two pairs is that one was a 16 and one was a 16W. So when I checked out, I was surprised to find that they were $25, almost twice as much as the "normal" size pair would have been if they had been in stock. This really rubs me the wrong way. Why should one pair be almost twice as expensive just because they are from the plus size section? It's bad enough being a plus size woman and struggling with your body and finding something that fits well and flatters you, but to have to pay so much more on top of that is downright despicable and disgraceful. I'll end my rant there, but it definitely gave me some frustrations.

Anyway, I'm going to try to get by on these two pair of khakis and one pair of jeans that fit until time to warmer weather. Then I will have to pick up some new things. I'm shooting for cute summer dresses and a pair of capris or shorts. Stll don't want to invest too much into it, because I know that I am going to spend a fortune on clothes once I hit my goal =).]]>
<![CDATA[Get me out of this funk!]]>Thu, 14 Jan 2016 18:20:03 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/get-me-out-of-this-funkTwo weeks into the year, and finally getting around to giving an update, even though there isn't much to update on other than the fact that I can't seem to get my diet back on track. My gym going has been on point. I've had a few rough workouts that I have had to push through, but I have been hitting PRs (personal records) left and right. However, it is very true that you can't out train a bad diet, and I've lost all of my willpower. It has become to easy to reach for convenience foods or eat out instead of cooking. I am really annoyed at myself for "backsliding" so far. I'm up almost 7 lbs from my low weight of 241.2. I was so close to getting under 240 lbs. I haven't been under 240 since my first year of college! It would have been amazing to get there, and now I have even farther to go. I've been participating in this diet bet ran by a couple of ladies from Instagram that I really admire, and I'm totally sucking at it. Almost two weeks in and barely any loss at all. I thought this would motivate me, but really I think I am self sabotaging =(

In other news, I have been ridiculously happy lately. I mean legitimately happier than I have been in years happy. It has certainly helped me to be less down on myself with the walls I am hitting in the weight loss area.]]>
<![CDATA[2016 Intentions and Goals]]>Fri, 01 Jan 2016 03:15:00 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/2016-intentions-and-goalsPicture
I stopped doing the new year's resolution bit several years ago because new year's resolutions are doomed for failure. I don't make resolutions, I make plans and set goals. Here are a few of my plans and goals for 2016:

In 2016 I will reach 180 lbs. I slipped up with my nutrition over the holidays and have to play catch up, so I have a little farther to go than planned, but I will get there. Then I will decide if that is where I am happy or if I have farther to go.

In 2016, I will drink at least a gallon of water a day and try to limit my caffeine intake to two cups of coffee per day.

In 2016, I will be mindful of what I put in my body for fuel, and I will say no to things that I know I will regret eating after the last bite has passed my lips.

In 2016, I will continue to add lean muscle mass to my body and build strength by hitting the gym 6 days a week. Maybe by this time next year, I will even uncover my abs.

In 2016, I will perfect the art of girling. I will get up every day and make myself beautiful instead of lounging around in sweats with no makeup and bed head. I will do this for myself, whether I leave my house or not, because I feel so much better when I am put together.

In 2016, I will continue to love myself and put myself first because I deserve it.

In 2016, I will add to my little art collection, completing my two half sleeves as my arm progress permits.

What are your goals and plans for 2016?

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<![CDATA[The holiday aftermath]]>Tue, 29 Dec 2015 18:14:28 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/the-holiday-aftermathPicture
 The holidays have been rough. I haven't been paying as much attention to my nutrition as I should, and I also missed a few gym sessions due to all the holiday preparations. I am struggling to get back on track. The scale is up, I feel fluffy and bloated, and disappointed in myself. However, if I let myself focus on those feelings, it will only hinder my progress. So instead, I am going to focus on the positives. 

I accomplished a major non scale victory the other day. For the first time ever in my life, I actually enjoyed shopping. I ordered a retro rockabilly top from Torrid (size 1), and when it came in, I had the strange urge to go shopping for shoes and pants to match. Crazy for me right? If you've read my blog from the beginning (I don't know if anyone actually reads this blog haha), then you know how much I hate shopping. It used to be a crippling experience for me and usually left me in tears. For the first time ever, I was able to go into a store and buy something off the rack in the women's department, not the plus size department. The pants I found are a size large. I can't even tell you the last time I fit into a size large. 

In addition to that, I actually bought a pair of red high heels to wear with it. The last time I wore high heels was at my wedding almost 10 years ago. I have never been a girly girl and have never wanted to dress up or accessorize, but all that is changing. For the first time ever, I feel like I can wear cute things and look good in them, and I am enjoying this by attempting to improve my girling abilities, so I also bought some cute bandannas to put in my hair. What's even better is that I actually enjoyed it. I have never enjoyed these types of things before. I feel like I am turning into a whole new person on the inside as well as the outside.

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Just out of curiosity, I pulled out one of the two pairs of shorts that I wore when I was at my largest and compared them to this new pair of pants. I am amazed at the difference. These shorts were tight on me in the summer of 2014. I pretty much lived in them because nothing else fit. I am so glad that I will never be that big again. I am never going back to who I was, and I've got a hell of a long way to go until where I want to be. I will get there.

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<![CDATA[What does it mean to fail?]]>Thu, 03 Dec 2015 20:03:40 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/what-does-it-mean-to-failIt has been a month since I updated here. I was supposed to check back in on November 17th to report the results of my 30 day challenge, except I miserably failed my 30 day challenge, in both weighing myself and having no cheats. After day 15, I fell off the wagon hardcore and was never really able to get back on. My obsession with the scale came back, and it continued to yo-yo up and down. I'm frustrated with myself because I feel like I "wasted" a lot of time that I could have been making progress. In the 15 days that I stayed on plan, I dropped over 11 lbs. Had I stayed on plan, might I have dropped another 11 lbs? Maybe. Who can say for sure? If I had, I would be really close to my second major milestone of losing 100 lbs. Do I wish I had stayed on plan? Sure. However; I am not beating myself up about it. I'm going to get right back on plan and continue working towards my goal. It's hard to do during the holidays, but I am going to get it. Life happens and this journey has its ups and downs, and you can't let that derail your progress.

I may have failed my diet challenge, but I didn't fail myself. I continued to work out 6 days a week, hitting the weights hard. Although my scale number is up a little from my half way point, I have still lost 8.75" since November 3rd. This brings me to a total of 94.5" lost from my body, That is no small accomplishment! That is nearly 8 feet of size that is gone from my body forever. I choose to celebrate the positives instead of dwelling on my shortcomings. I am going to hit that 100 lb loss soon. Maybe not by January 1st as I had hoped, but I will get there and beyond. I am not ever giving up, and by pressing on, I will never truly fail.

Here are my updated measurements. Eff the scale. That number holds no power over my or my success.

Neck: 14" - 13.5" (-.5")
Shoulders: 46" - 45" (-1')
Bust: 46" - 44" (-2") 
Band: 38" - 37.25" (-.75")
R. Arm: 16" - 15" (-1')
L. Arm: 17.5" - 16" (-1.5")
R. Forearm: 11.5" - 11.5" (-0)
L. Forearm: 11.5" - 11.5" (-0)
Waist: 36" - 34" (-2")
Hips: 46" - 44" (-2")
R. Thigh: 26.5" - 25.5" (-1")
L. Thigh: 26.5" - 25" (-1.5") 
R. Calf: 17.75" - 17" (-.75")
L. Calf: 18.25" - 16.75" (-1.5")
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<![CDATA[30 Day Challenge half way point]]>Tue, 03 Nov 2015 14:20:42 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/30-day-challenge-half-way-pointI have reached the halfway point with my 30 day no cheat, no weigh challenge. I horribly failed the no weigh part of the challenge. It just drives me insane not knowing what I weigh, I did manage to last one whole week before I caved and begged Chris to bring the scales out. I've been fairly good at only weighing once a week since. I also managed to make it the first 15 days with no cheats whatsoever, so I am really proud of myself for that. I also didn't eat even one piece of Halloween candy, even though my kids got like 20 lbs of it.

​HOWEVER

I fell off the wagon hardcore on day 16, to the tune of several slices of Papa John's pizza. I am incredibly bloated and blah feeling today after eating that crap last night, but the good thing about THM is that it is forgiving. I am going to get right back on track today by drinking a couple quarts of GGMS to help get rid of the bloat. 

I took new measurements and weighed at the halfway point. I am really pleased with my progress so far. I am down 11.2lbs and 9.25" in the first 15 days of my challenge. I'm sure I've added back some of those lbs after yesterdays disaster, but I am not going to weigh and record that. I won't weigh again until Saturday and hopefully getting back on track will help purge those regained lbs. Here's a breakdown of my first 15 days.

Weight: 254.8 lbs - 243.6 lbs (-11.2 lbs) First time under 250 in at least 12 years!!!
BMI: 38.7 - 37 (-1.7 pts)
Neck: 14" - 13.5" (-.5")
Shoulders: 46" - 46" (-0)
Bust: 46" - 44" (-2") bye bye boobs, *sad face* lol
Band: 38" - 37.5" (-.5")
R. Arm: 16" - 16" (-0)
L. Arm: 17.5" - 17" (-.5")
R. Forearm: 11.5" - 11.5" (-0)
L. Forearm: 11.5" - 11.5" (-0)
Waist: 36" - 35" (-1")
Hips: 46" - 44.5" (-1.5")
R. Thigh: 26.5" - 26" (-.5")
L. Thigh: 26.5" - 25" (-1.5") How do I lose 1.5" from one thigh and just .5" from the other?
R. Calf: 17.75" - 17.25" (-.5")
L. Calf: 18.25" - 17.5" (-.75")

Time to get seriously back on track today. I have to go to the grocery store and then I am going to hit the gym to kill some back and biceps.  Oh and it's election day too! Don't forget to get out and vote!]]>
<![CDATA[Body Image: Mind's Perception VS. Physical Reality]]>Sun, 25 Oct 2015 13:33:14 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/the-body-image-mind-and-body-connectionPicture
I woke up early this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. I was lying in bed thinking about the way we see ourselves versus the reality of how we are. Before I got serious about my weight loss journey, I didn't realize that I was a big as I was. My mind's perception of myself had me looking about the same as I did in college. Logically, I knew that I was buying a larger size of clothes, but still my mind just didn't process the reality of how I actually looked on the outside.
 
I don't own a full length mirror, and so I rarely saw myself from an outside perspective. I avoided pictures as much as possible, or when I couldn't avoid them, I would put one of my kids in front of me to hide myself. On the rare occasion that I did really see myself in a picture, I would be horrified by what I saw. I was disgusted by the way I looked, but for a long time, even that didn't motivate me to do anything about it. Once the memory of the picture faded, my mental perception of myself returned to that of my former, trimmer self.

Eventually, something finally clicked within me and my mind allowed m,y mental image of myself to match my reality. That was when I began this amazing journey to better health; however, losing weight didn't necessarily restore the connection between my mind's perception of myself and my reality. It seems that it only reversed it. I am not sure what did it, whether it was my brutal acceptance of just how heavy and unhealthy I had become, the time I spent looking at my before pictures, or the fact that I forced myself to really see myself for the first time in a long time, but my mind rewired my self image to that of the "before." The "before" me was burned into my brain, and it brought about a huge bout of depression. How could I have let myself get into this horrible shape? Although, I began to feel better about myself as the weight began to drop, my mental image of myself didn't really change.

Sometimes I still picture myself as the before, and It takes me by surprise when I see myself in the mirror or in pictures. I notice things about myself and it messes with my head. For example, when I look down and still expect to see my stomach bulging out farther than my breasts and am surprised when I can't see my stomach at all, or when I notice myself in the mirror at the gym and realize that I actually have a waist, or when I see my legs when I am taking a bath and can't stop staring at how much more shapely they are or noticing that they don't jiggle like they used to.. Logically, I know that I am much smaller than I used to be, but my brain refuses to see myself the way that others see me. 

People stop and compliment me every day on how I look. I am terrible with compliments, and never really know how to accept them. Someone will say something like, "wow, you are really looking good," and my brain will throw up that before picture and I'll say something like, "I'm getting there." It's like I can't accept the progress I've made so far because the before still haunts my mind, and I know I still have a long way to go. I wish I could find the balance between my perception of myself and my reality. It's infuriating that I can't.

On the other hand, it has really made me understand something that I couldn't understand before. I used to get so upset when my "thin" friends would complain about being fat. It was like, "well, if you're fat, then I must be a freaking whale." Now I have a better understanding that perhaps they are struggling with the same perception/reality disconnect that I am struggling with. I've learned that we should never discount someone else's struggles because we perceive them to be less than our own. We are all fighting battles that other people can't see or empathize with. 

​Today makes one week down of my 30 day No Cheat No weigh challenge. I stayed true to the challenge and had no off plan cheats or crossovers, even when I had to give the ACT yesterday and our wonderful counselor brought in glazed doughnuts for all the test administrators. He's very thoughtful though, and knew that I don't eat sugar and brought a giant slim jim for me. It had corn syrup in it, so I took it home to my girls instead of eating it myself.

I am really proud of myself for staying on plan, but not knowing how much I weigh right now is driving me insane! Chris hid the scale from me, and it's a good thing he did because I have the strongest urge to weigh myself. I actually looked around for his hiding place yesterday, checking in cupboards and cabinets, and you had better believe that if I had found the scale, I would have weighed myself. I am trying not to obsess over that number, but it's so hard. I just hope that I will be pleasantly surprised when I weigh in on November 17. As long as I make it under 250 lbs, I will be ecstatic. I probably won't take new measurements until next weekend, but that will hopefully give me an idea of how I am progressing as well.

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<![CDATA[Challenging myself - 30 days no cheat no weigh]]>Sun, 18 Oct 2015 14:50:31 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/challenging-myself-30-days-no-cheat-no-weighI've been struggling with the scale lately. I am so close to dropping below 250 lbs. I haven't been under 250 lbs in more than 10 years. I want it so bad that I can almost taste it. However, I'm still struggling with the yo-yo effect. I know for  a fact that my body is changing, as my measurements keep getting smaller and my clothes are fitting better. Logically, I know that I am dropping fat and packing on muscle. That is why the scale isn't changing.

At the same time, I know I haven't been as strict as I should be about being on plan lately. I've challenged myself to a 30 day no cheat no weigh challenge. For the next 30 days, I am going to push myself to work the plan, eat when I am supposed to and always choose on plan choices. I am going to keep going to the gym 6 days a week and really focus on good form in my lifting so that I am getting the best results from my effort. I am going to feed my muscles appropriately after workouts so that they can grow, and in 30 days, I will weigh myself and take new measurements and see how far I have come. I have tried to do the no weigh thing in the past, but the temptation always overtakes me, so I am asking Chris to hide the scale from me so that I can't weigh, haha. I think I will be pleasantly surprised at the end. 

So with that, here are my starting stats: 

Weight: 254.8 lbs
BMI: 38.7
Neck: 14"
Shoulders: 46"
Bust: 46"
Band: 38"
R. Arm: 16"
L. Arm: 17.5"
R. Forearm: 11.5"
L. Forearm: 11.5"
Waist: 36"
Hips: 46"
R. Thigh: 26.5"
L. Thigh: 26.5"
R. Calf: 17.75"
L. Calf: 18.25"

I'll update these on November 17th. Wish me luck!

I recently joined Instagram (@_arainais_) to document my journey and find motivation. I wish I had done this back when I first started. IG has an amazing weight loss community and I have been able to connect with so many others through it who are experiencing or have overcome the same obstacles as I am. It is so inspiring to me to be able to hear other's stories and gives me motivation to press on with my own journey. If you're on IG and are so inclined., head over and give me a follow. 

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<![CDATA[Let's talk Lifting]]>Wed, 07 Oct 2015 23:26:22 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/lets-talk-liftingI joined the gym on July 6th. The left pictures were taken July 1st and the right pictures were taken October 3rd. If I only relied on the scale to judge my progress, I might be discouraged because in 3 months, I only lost 16.8 lbs. Prior to joining the gym, I was losing an average of 2 lbs per week, so this was definitely a slow down in weight loss. However I also take measurements and pictures, and I can see a huge difference in the pictures on the right and the pictures on the left. My back and stomach have both smoothed out tremendously. My arms are smaller. My legs are more toned. I even actually have a waist! The best part, I've lost 30.5" in three months! This is what happens when you burn fat and build muscle. So don't let the scale be your only measure of progress. Sometimes the scale might not be moving but your body might be recomposing itself.

Joining the gym was the best decision I ever made, and I only wish I had done it sooner. It's the best therapy I've found. I used to eat my emotions, but now I go to the gym when I am feeling down. I always come out feeling better than I went in. I feel so accomplished when I can up my weights or do more than I used to. I've fallen in love with the squat rack. Gym time is definitely my me time, and it is paying off in spades. I originally decided that I would reward myself with another tattoo when I lost another 50 lbs, but now I've decided that I am going to go ahead and get my next one (a chest piece). My appt is scheduled for November 13th. I may not be losing lbs, but my body is getting smaller and I am building muscle. That is clearly evident here.
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<![CDATA[Year One]]>Sat, 03 Oct 2015 14:16:30 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/year-oneOne year ago today, I finally hit rock bottom with my weight. I'd let myself go horribly after my last child was born, and before I knew it, I was heavier than I had ever been in my life. Over the years, I had tried various diets to try to lose weight, but none of them were sustainable, or my willpower would give out, or something bad would happen and I would medicate myself with sweets and eat my emotions. All of the extra weight I was carrying around was taking a heavy toll on me. I was having severe knee pain because all of the cartilage in my knees was degenerated and worn out, and the excess weight was aggravating my ruptured disc back injury. I knew that if I didn't do something to shed the weight, I was going to get worse and worse, develop health issues, and probably die of a heart attack. I made up my mind that I was going to do whatever it took to get the extra weight off, all 150 lbs of it.

I started trying to watch portion sizes and eat better, and I struggled on my own for 4 months, over the course of which I only lost 14 lbs. Then, in February, I began to look closer at the Trim Healthy Mama eating plan because a couple of my dear friends were having great success with it. I went totally on plan February 28th, and was quickly amazed at how easy and sustainable the plan was and how quickly the weight was dropping. In July, I realized that I needed to do more to tone my body, as I was beginning to have some of the dreaded loose skin issues that come with extreme weight loss. I joined the gym and began lifting weights. Since then, the weight loss has slowed a bit, but that is because I am building muscle and burning fat. I have been losing inches like crazy and am finally starting to see some definition in my muscles and have firmed up all over.

As today is my one year "get fit" anniversary, I am happy to report that I have lost 73.6 lbs, 76.5 inches, and 4 sizes, but I have gained so much more. For the first time in my life, I have high self confidence and a positive body image. I am healthier than I have ever been, and I have so much more energy. I haven't reached my goal. I still have a little over 75 lbs to lose, but for the first time in my life, I actually have confidence that I will reach my goal. I know that if I put in the work, I will see results. I am so proud of how far I have come and all the progress that I have made.

I have had a lot of people tell me that they don't know how I find the motivation to keep at it, but all I can say is that you can't find the motivation, you have to make it. You have to want it badly enough to do whatever it takes to get it. I want it more than I want anything else in this world, and so I am going to get it. I am never going back to the miserable, unhealthy person that I used to be.

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<![CDATA[Weeks 28-29]]>Sun, 20 Sep 2015 15:54:30 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/weeks-28-29I'm just going to leave this here and let it speak for itself. I will note that I only lost maybe 8 lbs between the July and September picture. Joining the gym was the best decision I ever made.
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<![CDATA[Weeks 26-27]]>Tue, 08 Sep 2015 15:31:37 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/weeks-26-27Picture
It's been about two weeks since I started doing more hardcore targeted muscle groups weight lifting. In that time, I've only lost 2.8 lbs. My scale is like a yo-yo, up one day and down the next. If I was relying on the scale alone to gauge my progress, I might be disappointed right now. 

However, since I started my new fitness regimen, I've lost an additional 8.5 inches off my body, 1.5 of which came off my hips! I can tell you that sometimes the scale can be more of a hindrance than a motivator. Take measurements if you really want to know what kind of progress you are making. Pay attention to other things like how well your clothes are fitting, how you feel, and things you can do that you couldn't do before. Those things will tell you what kind of progress you are really making. The scale is a liar.


I am really pleased with my success in the gym. I know for a fact that I am burning fat and building lean muscle mass. Sometimes I get discouraged because I am not seeing the scale drop (and I really want to lose 3o more lbs so I can go get my next tattoo! haha), but I know that I am making solid progress. I am proud of the hard work that I am putting in and the results that I am seeing.



Progress to date: -68.6 lbs & -66.75 inches



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<![CDATA[Weeks 20-25 - Checking in]]>Sun, 23 Aug 2015 02:22:53 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/weeks-20-25-checking-inI have been neglecting updating because I have been so incredibly busy. There hasn't been much to report on anyway. I have been in a bit of a stall. I got thrown off by a lot of cheats and hosting a birthday party, and it took me a while to get back on track. The good news is that I kept up with my gym going and didn't gain any weight. I really feel like I have been gaining muscle and losing fat anyway, because my clothes are fitting better all the time. Today I finally saw some significant drop in the number on the scale and remembered that I needed to update here.

I have just changed up my gym routine to start focusing on targeted muscle groups. On Thursday I did chest/triceps/abs and yesterday I did legs/abs. I am so incredibly sore all over today! However, I really feel like this is going to really push me farther and really help me to put on muscle. I really want to have an athletic build when it is all over and done with. 

Week 25 - 262.6 lbs (-5 lbs, -65.8 lbs total)]]>
<![CDATA[Weeks 17-19]]>Fri, 10 Jul 2015 23:00:17 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/weeks-17-19I am so incredibly overdue for an update! Life has just caught up with me and I haven't had time to update here. I took a new set of measurements and progress photos on July 1st, so those are below. I also joined a gym this week, and that has been an amazing feat for me. My goal right now is a day of total body circuit weights, a day of cardio, and a day of rest: rinse, wash, repeat. Although, I don't feel like I am working my abs much at the gym, so my rest day is going to turn into a day of planking and ab exercises at home. I had been not quite stalled, but definitely treading water and joining the gym has really kick started my weight loss again. This was day 4 at the gym for me, and between the elliptical machine, treadmill, and recumbent bike, I did almost 7 miles! That's freaking amazing for me! Anyway, here are my updated (but already slightly out of date) measurements, progress photos, and stats.

Weight:
Height:
BMI:
Neck:
Bust:
Band:
Waist:
Hips:
Arm (x2):
Thigh (x2):
Calf (x2):
10-13-14
328.4
5'8"
49.9
16.5
54.5
47
49.5
60
21.5
33.75
21.25
4-19-15
293.4
5'8"
44.6
15
50.25
43
44
56
19.75
31.5
20
5-22-15
282.6
5'8"
43
15
50
42
42.25
54.25
18
30.75
19.75
7-1-15
271.6
5'8"
40.7
15
49.5
41
42
52
18
30
19.5
Week 19 - 267.6 lbs (-6,2 lbs, -60.8 lbs total)
Total Inches Lost: 46
BMI reduction: 9.2
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<![CDATA[Week 16]]>Sun, 21 Jun 2015 13:31:28 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/week-161I have had a rough week. So much to do and so little time to do it. I've been feeling down this week too. Wish I could kick this black cloud that seems to hanging over my head. Ugh.

Week 16 - 273.,8 (-2.2 lbs, -54.6 lbs total)]]>
<![CDATA[Week 15 - Back on Track]]>Sat, 13 Jun 2015 14:31:54 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/week-15-back-on-trackAfter a couple weeks of roller coasting,, my body has finally fallen back in line. This week was also week 1 of a 3 week writing project for me, and so my step count has been way below my average, Sitting around writing for hours, while great for the soul, is not so great for the get up and get moving initiative that I have been trying to accomplish. Despite that, I feel like I had a good week and made great choices, even when I had to eat out several days.

I, of course, cannot stay away from the scale, so I weighed in this morning. I was so happy to see a big loss and the scale number once again moving in the right direction. I have been thinking this week about joining Curves again. I did it back when I was in college and lost a lot of inches (speaking of, I really need to take my measurements again) but didn't lose a lot of weight. Since THM is taking care of me on the weight loss front, I thought that maybe Curves would help me tone up and keep me from having what I dread most about losing weight:  loose skin. With 96 lbs left to lose, that is a huge concern for me.

Week 15 - 276 lbs (-2.4 lbs, -52.4 lbs total)]]>
<![CDATA[Week 14 - Milestone!]]>Sun, 07 Jun 2015 14:57:01 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/week-14-milestonePicture
Last week, I promised myself that I would do a one month no weigh challenge. I didn't want to know how much I had gained or whether or not I was still stalled by the time my tattoo appointment rolled around. On Thursday, June 4th, 2015, I did something that I have been wanting to do for years: I finally got my ink. It ended up taking about 5 1/2 hours, and was an amazing experience. Getting this tattoo was a reward to myself for all my efforts to get healthy and lose weight, and I am absolutely in love with it!

When I woke up the next morning, I decided that I couldn't stand it any longer and I brought out the scale. So much for the one month no weigh challenge. I stepped on couldn't believe my eyes. 278.4 lbs. 278.4 lbs! The day after I got my tattoo for rewarding myself for a 50 lbs loss that I wasn't sure was even going to happen, I weighed in at exactly 50 lbs down. I am so incredibly happy!

I have never lost 50 lbs before. Even when I did an entire year of weight watchers, I only lost around 45 lbs. I have been seriously trying to lose weight for 8 months, and I have lost 50 lbs. 36 of those lbs I have lost in the 3 1/2 months that I have been on THM. I am so thankful that my dear friends Linda and Marla introduced me to this lifestyle. It has seriously saved my life.

Week 14 - 278.4 lbs (-4.2 lbs, -50 lbs total)

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<![CDATA[Week 13 - The Dreaded Stall]]>Sun, 31 May 2015 22:51:53 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/week-13-the-dreaded-stallThis week I have been at a standstill. No weight loss or gain. I get on the scale every morning and feel so frustrated. It's starting to bring me down, and so I've decided to put the scale away. I am going to do a one month no weigh challenge. I can't let my self worth be tied to the number on the scale. I am going to measure my success by my measurements, my clothes, and how I feel. Wish me luck!]]><![CDATA[Week 12 - The Scale is a LIAR]]>Thu, 28 May 2015 02:43:02 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/week-12-the-scale-is-a-liarSo this has been a very hard week. First it was hard because the girls wanted Pizza on Monday and I caved and ate 3 pieces, bread and all. I have been trying to get rid of that all week long. The inflammation/water weight just stuck with me. Then, Thursday morning, my Momma had to be taken to the ER and was later admitted to the hospital. I went over right after school on Thursday and stayed until 10:00, and then I went over at 7:00 Friday night and stayed until they released her at 6:00 Sunday night. It's very hard to stay on plan when your only food options include a hospital cafeteria, a sweet shop, and a Wendy's, but I thought I was doing very well. I typically had bacon and scrambled eggs for breakfast and a ranch salad with grilled chicken from the salad bar, and either a small chili or a bunless burger for dinner.. Unfortunately when I weighed in Monday morning, I saw that the week, along with all the commercially prepared meals of the weekend, had definitely taken its toll on me. I wanted to cry when I looked at the numbers on the scale and saw a gain instead of a loss. This is the first time in many, many weeks that I have seen a gain.  Picture
However, the more I thought about it, I realized that all that the  number on the scale tells me is my gravitational relationship to the earth. It does not define me, and it can not tell me everything there is to know about my overall health and success. Here's some proof of that. To the right are two pictures of me. The one on the left was taken on Mother's day, 2014. The one on the right was taken a week or so ago; they are just a little more than one year apart. I barely recognize the woman on the left. Thankfully, I don't know who she is anymore. This is a much better measurement of my overall health and success than some numbers on a scale after a horrendously stressful and tough week.

Picture
Here's another non scale indicator of my overall health and success. The picture to the left was taken on Monday, which was Memorial Day. I was preparing to go with Chris to visit my inlaws, and in the name of comfort, I chose to wear a tank top that I recently bought (It's a XXL! So glad to get out of the XXXL range). I can tell you exactly when the last time I wore a tank top out in public, much less a form fitting one like this one, was. Yes, it was NEVER. I have never had the self confidence to wear something like this out in public. I've always thought my arms and face were too fat to wear tank tops, but look at me now! I felt perfectly comfortable in this, and the added bonus was that I didn't burn up because it was hot that day.

As I mentioned in a previous post, my reward to myself for losing 50 lbs is my first tattoo. I met with my artist earlier in the week and have a 4 hour session booked for June 4th. I realize that the 2 lb gain I suffered this week may prevent me from being 50 lbs down by that time. I still have 4.4 lbs to go until I reach that first big goal, and I just don't know if I can do that in a week. I felt a bit like a fraud at first, keeping my appointment. However, I've come to realize that those 4.4 lbs don't define me. I will lose them, whether this week or next, and even if I don't lose them before June 4th, I still deserve to be rewarded for all of my hard work thus far. 

My final piece of proof that the number on the scale is not the be all end all of my health and success is that I also took my measurements this week. With everything going on with my mom, I didn't have time for new progress photos, but those will come next week. Below are my current stats:

Week 12 - 282.6 lbs (+2 lbs, -45.8 lbs total)
Total Inches Lost: 44
BMI reduction: 6.9


Weight:
Height:
BMI:
Neck:
Bust:
Band:
Waist:
Hips:
Arm (x2):
Thigh (x2):
Calf (x2):
10-13-14
328.4
5'8"
49.9
16.5
54.5
47
49.5
60
21.5
33.75
21.25
4-19-15
293.4
5'8"
44.6
15
50.25
43
44
56
19.75
31.5
20
5-22-15
282.6
5'8"
43
15
50
42
42.25
54.25
18
30.75
19.75
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<![CDATA[Week 11]]>Sun, 17 May 2015 17:25:42 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/week-111I had a great week. My fitbit arrived on Monday, and I have been wearing it ever since. It has really helped to make me aware of how active I am, and has encouraged me to be even more active. I love how it tracks all of my steps much better than my hip pedometer ever did. I also like how it tracks my heart rate and my sleep. The silent alarm is pretty top notch too. I can get up without bothering Chris in the mornings, which is great.

Short update today, will do new pictures and measurements next week since it has been almost a month since I last updated those.

Week 11 - 280.6 (-4.8 lbs, - 47.8 lbs total)]]>
<![CDATA[THM Week 10 - Temptations everywhere!]]>Sat, 09 May 2015 15:32:39 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/thm-week-10-temptations-everywhereSo I've been fairly active on a couple of THM facebook groups. This week I joined an unofficial group, a 60 day no cheat challenge. The idea is that you try to eat on plan, at the right time, while exercising and drinking plenty of water. I can't say that I exercised any more this week, or that I didn't occasionally go too long between meals, but I think I did fairly well. I did not eat even one off plan item, but let me tell you, that was a feat of willpower on my part the size of a mountain.

This was Teacher Appreciation week, and it seemed as though I faced temptations every where I turned. 
On Wednesday morning, our administration sent around a cart of sugary doughnuts of death.. There were apple fritters on that cart, and let me tell you, apple fritters are like the best thing ever; however, I politely declined. Thursday, I had to supervise a field trip and lunch was provided. What did they serve? Papa John's pizza, only my favorite pizza ever. I got two slices, ate the toppings, and threw the bread away. Friday, was probably the toughest day. In the morning, I had a reusable water bottle in my mailbox that had a batch of homemade fudge in it! I gave it to my kids. Then, they provided us with sub sandwiches for lunch. I left instead, and got a Subway Double Chicken chopped salad.  Near the end of the day, a wonderful student tried to bring me a ginormous chess cake bar. I thanked her, but asked her to take it away from me because I can't have it.

I am so proud of myself! I don't know where this willpower came from, but I like it. 6 months ago I would have devoured that and probably looked for more. To celebrate my accomplishment, I am going to bake myself a gluten free, sugar free, fudge brownie crusted cheesecake today. Happy Mother's Day to me!!

Another awesome thing that happened this week was that I got a Fitbit Charge HR for free! My work insurance includes the Humana Vitality program, and after my recent vitality check I discovered that I could cash in those points for free stuff. I had accumulated enough vitality bucks over the last few years to get a free charge, and I was so incredibly happy about this. I had planned to buy myself one (I wanted the purple one) but I just couldn't justify spending that much money on myself. I did have to settle for a black one, but I will gladly take a free black one over a $150 purple one! It shipped today, and hopefully will be in soon. Double Happy Mother's Day to me!

This week's weigh in blew my mind. I have pretty much consistently lost 2 lbs per week since about week 3 of THM. I lost more at first, but everyone does due to water weight. I didn't expect to lose more than 2 lbs, but when I stepped on the scales this morning I had lost 3.6 lbs! It seems like I just celebrated getting under 300, and now I am almost 15 lbs under 300. I have lost 43 lbs. I am 7 lbs away from my first major goal, which was to lose 50 lbs. When I lose 50 lbs, I am rewarding myself with getting my very first tattoo, something that I have wanted forever. I have already contacted my artist and he's putting together my design.

Sometimes I want to pinch myself and ask myself if this is real life. I am so thankful for THM. It has saved my life.

Week 10 - 285.4 (-3.6 lbs, -43 lbs total)
Picture
I honestly have no idea who created this image, but I wish I could give him/her credit for it. I find it so incredibly inspiring. This is me - taking control of my life and my health. This is me uncovering the beautiful woman who has been hidden behind too many layers of fat for far too long.
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<![CDATA[THM Week 9 - Confessions of a cheater]]>Sun, 03 May 2015 14:24:29 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/thm-week-9-confessions-of-a-cheaterLast Sunday, my family didn't want to eat anything I had in the house to fix. My youngest desperately wanted to visit our local Chinese restaurant, a place we haven't been since I started THM. I figured, as well as I had been doing, one cheat meal wouldn't hurt me, and cheat I did. I attacked that buffet bar. I tried to tell myself I was making better choices, as I skipped out on the potatoes and rolls that I would have normally put on my plate, and I drank water rather than a diet soda, but I still loaded my plate down with sweet & sour chicken with red sauce, sesame chicken, wontons, corn nuggets, and close to 1/2 lb of crab legs. It was absolutely delicious. I didn't eat until I was overly stuffed, as I once would have. I ate till I was satisfied and enjoyed every bite of my meal. At least I did until the next morning.

Monday morning I woke up as sick as a dog. I was nauseated and bloated.  I felt like all that food was still hanging around in my stomach. I was so disgusted by the mere thought of food that I skipped breakfast. I took a couple of gas-X and hoped for the best. By lunchtime, I was feeling marginally better, so I ran down to our local health food store and got a Quest protein bar for lunch, just to get my metabolism going. I still felt pretty gross about the thought of eating anything. Eventually, the horrible feeling passed, but all I could think about was how I did this to myself. No matter how delicious that food had been, it wasn't worth the horrible way that it made me feel. I had a pretty good idea that it would make me feel bad in advance; I just had no idea how very bad it would make me feel.

In addition to feeling bad, according to the scale, I had gained back 4 lbs! That's two weeks worth of weight that was supposed to be gone forever. I was so ashamed of myself. I tried really hard to get back on plan, but it was hard because I was having cravings for more unhealthy food and Monday was a long day for me, with my oldest daughter's away soccer game and me needing to stay at school and grade papers. I didn't leave school until 8:30 that night. Every morning, I stepped on the scale praying that some of the gained weight would come off, but it was an incredibly slow process. I felt sure that I had ruined any chance of weight loss this week. On Friday, I weighed in at still .6 lbs over my last recorded weight. I was even more sure week 9 was going to have to go down as a gain. 

I remembered that some of the ladies on the THM facebook group had said that when they cheated, drinking Good Girl Moonshine (GGMS) helped to get them back on track. A lot of times what we gain from just one cheat meal isn't so much actual weight and is more bloating and fluid retention, and GGMS helps with that. I fixed myself up a quart of Raspberry Zinger GGMS to take to work with me Friday. If you are a THMer and haven't tried the Raspberry Zinger GGMS, you are definitely missing out. It is delicious. I sipped on it all morning, hoping and praying that it would help.

Yesterday, I got up and stepped on the scale. I was almost afraid to look to see what it would say, but I was pleasantly and unexpectedly surprised!

Week 9 - 289 lbs (-2lbs, -39.4 lbs total)

I couldn't believe that I had actually lost 2 lbs despite everything and despite the fact that all week long it had looked as though I had gained a ton. It is amazing what GGMS can do to flush the lingering effects of a cheat meal from one's body. I really need to go back to drinking it every day. It doesn't take much time to make, and I could definitely do make ahead drinks the night before.

Here are some other victories from yesterday. I had a conference to attend, but as I mentioned last week, all my clothes are falling off of me. I found some jean capris that were a size 22 in my closet. The last time I tried to put on a 22 a couple of weeks ago, it wouldn't zip or button. These pants fit me perfectly! I had no trouble zipping or buttoning them at all! What's even better than that is that I reached in the pocket and found a receipt that I had probably forgotten to take out of them the last time I wore them. It was dated early 2011! I haven't fit into these pants in 4 years. I think that is pretty amazing!

I also snapped a selfie because I noticed as I was getting ready that I could actually see my jawline and that I actually had a shadow on my neck! This made me so incredibly happy.
After my conference was over, I met up with Chris and the girls. They had been out enjoying Free Comic Book day and were at the park. I had gotten advance tickets to see Avengers: The Age of Ultron, and we had a lot of time to kill before the movie so we decided to get something to eat. I knew I didn't want a repeat of last week, so I chose Golden Corral buffet because it literally has everything imaginable. I was so pleased with my dinner. I ended up having sirloin steak, roasted summer squash with onions and green peppers, roasted asparagus, roasted brussell sprouts, a ceasar salad with spinach, broccoli, bacon, tomatoes, onions, and lettuce, and several strawberries for dessert. It was absolutely delicious, and you know what? I feel wonderful today!
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<![CDATA[THM Week 8 - I need new clothes!]]>Sun, 26 Apr 2015 16:13:19 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/thm-week-8-i-need-new-clothesMy pants are literally falling off, which is both a great and an awful problem to have since It's not in the budget to go buy new pants just yet. I'm going to attempt to shrink them in the dryer. Let's hope for the best with that. =) 

This has been a stressful and hectic week for me at work. I am so glad that summer is in sight. I'm sick of packing lunches. I want to be home to cook in my own kitchen. I am gaining a new appreciation for cooking, and I am excited about having more time to get better at it.

I would really like to get Chris and my youngest daughter on plan as well. If I am cooking more meals at home, they will have no choice but to eat what I fix.. Hopefully it will help them both to slim down.

I had a good weigh in this morning, but that has become par for the course. I remember a time when I dreaded stepping on the scale. Now the scale has become something to look forward to. It is a symbol of my transformation. 

Week 8 - 291 lbs (-2.4 lbs, -37.4 lbs total) 

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<![CDATA[THM Week 7 - Progress photos and measurements]]>Sun, 19 Apr 2015 17:36:50 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/thm-week-7-progress-photos-and-measurementsI can't even begin to describe how happy I am today. I had an amazing weigh in this morning. I also decided that I simply had to take progress photos, and that I needed to update my measurements again since it had been about 6 weeks since I measured last. Looking at these pictures is shocking to me. I almost can't believe I ever let myself get that huge and unhealthy. They are also inspiring, because I know I will never be that big again.

Week 7 - 293.4 lbs (-3.2 lbs, -35 lbs total)
Total Inches Lost: 29.75
BMI reduction: 5.3

Weight:
Height:
BMI:
10-3-14
328.4
5'8"
49.9
4-19-15
293.4
5'8"
44.6

Neck:
Bust:
Band:
Waist
1-10-14
16.5
54.5
47
49.5
4-19-15
15
50.25
43
44

Hips:
Arm:
Thigh:
Calf:
1-10-14
60
21.5
33.75
21.25
4-19-15
56
19.75
31.5
20
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<![CDATA[THM Weeks 5 & 6]]>Wed, 15 Apr 2015 16:48:22 GMThttp://losingitforgood.weebly.com/blog/thm-weeks-5-6Picture
I really need to make it a point to update this blog every week. I have been so incredibly busy that it has been difficult to find a free moment. #EndoftheYearTeacherProbs. Anyway, here's a quick update:

Week 5 - 298.2 lbs (-2 lbs, -30.2 lbs total) 

This was a monumental week for me because I finally broke the 300 lb barrier. I have not been under 300 lbs in over 5 years, so this was a huge accomplishment for me!

Week 6 - 296.6 lbs (-1.6 lbs, -31.8 lbs total)

I am beginning to see a huge difference in myself. I am so thankful every day that I was introduced to Trim Healthy Mama by a dear friend of mine. It is changing my life!

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